Recently I had been asked by a local publisher why I had chosen to write a guide (Japanese Man Looking For A Foreign Girlfriend: 17 Rules For Happiness) about having an international relationship in regard to Japan. In addition the question came up what I personally see as the biggest weakness for a Japanese man in a relationship with a foreign woman. I thought these are reasonable questions and would like to share with you my thoughts.
First of all, let me point out my intention for this guide is very simple: I would like to see more happy local or international couples in Japan or around the world. Unlike in many other countries, I believe Japanese men are facing quite a lot of societal and cultural pressure to be the provider for a girlfriend or a family. Personally I see the difference then in a relationship with a foreign woman that the pressure of being the sole provider falls most likely away. The relationship is much more based on a partnership with equal rights and duties. Considering then that for most Japanese men the dream of having a work life balance is out of reach, I think a different kind of relationship can give Japanese men a new perspective of how much more comfortable and fulfilling their future could be.
Moving on to the second point of the potentially biggest weakness of Japanese men in a relationship: Knowing themselves! I have seldom heard about a man that he is perceived as being secure enough to know how to express and fulfill his dreams, understanding his weak spots whether it is with his personality or lifestyle, plus having made up his mind on how he has planned to spend his future. Most likely Japanese men have not considered this part of self development connected with dating or a successful long term relationship. With the 17 rules my goal is to give some guidance on what can make any Japanese more successful with women. Of course the books covers more than just the mentioned topics above. I believe a fun approach to dating, combined with real advice is the key for success.
Let me point out that I wrote this book not based on stereotyping neither the Japanese nor the foreign side. For those curious to know more, check out the link to Amazon.
Brought to you by Sibylle Ito (伊藤シビル)